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The Answers Come To You Only In Silence

By Tan Yan Mei
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You've been trying so hard to find answers. Gratitude journals. Motivational videos. Tarot readings. Talking to friends who mean well but don't really understand. Even the counsellors only seem to bring you around in circles of emotions that you want to move on from. Everyone has something to say about your life. Everyone has an opinion. Your (ex-)husband's family thinks it was your fault. Your family thinks you should try harder. Your friends back home say you need to think of your child. Your colleagues keep asking if you're okay with that concerned look that makes you want to disappear. Beneath all those voices, your own thoughts are shouting over each other. Am I a bad mother? What if I can't survive on my own? What if this is just... it? The noise is unbearable. Yet, you keep listening, because you just can't tune it out. Why Silence Feels Like The Scariest Thing Of All Or, because sometimes the silence feels scarier than the noise.  The anxiety gets loude...
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It's Okay to Not Hate Him

By Tan Yan Mei
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I know how suffocating it feels when everyone's urging you to keep fighting, to never "let him off lightly" - when all you want is to move on. They want the best for you, and you wonder if they're right. After all, you didn't make the best decisions in this marriage. May I offer a different voice? It's okay to not hate him. (And if you do - that's also absolutely normal!) This isn't about what you should feel. It's not about who has the right opinion. It's about your voice, your feelings, your thoughts. The Weight of Well-Meaning Anchors Imagine a boat with anchors dropped on all sides. Each one lowered with love and concern: "I just want what's best for you."   But love doesn't make them any less heavy. The boat stays stuck, unable to move forward. Your best friend says, "Don't let him get away with this." Your mother reminds you what people will think. Your colleagues whisper about how strong you need to be...
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The Power of One Simple Question

By Tan Yan Mei
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  It doesn’t take much to empathise with someone. Between 2016 and 2019, while I was clawing my way out of depression, I worked as a Grab driver. At that time, it was the only thing that could get me out of bed and out of the house. I loved the conversations with my passengers - how they would end up sharing their deepest, darkest secrets with me. That's when I discovered there was something empathetic about me that made people feel safe, even while I was crumbling inside. It was during that stint that I stumbled upon what might be a simple but one of the most powerful questions you could ask anyone. During evening peak hours, I'd pick up passengers from their offices. Some would slump into my car with a sigh and stay silent. Yet, I could feel the weight they carried. Once, I couldn’t help but ask, "Had a long day?" The lady sat up - as if it was the first time in forever anyone had paid attention to her or even asked about her wellbeing. She started pouring out every...
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Bath Salts from Scoop: The Real Thing That Actually Grounds You

By Tan Yan Mei
  Get your bath salts from Scoop. Good old raw salt that works, because you do not need a $40 bath bomb that smells like 'unicorn dreams' to feel better (nor do you need those that are hand harvested by monks in the Himalayas.) Salt grounds you, detoxes and cleanses the rubbish energy clinging to your space. If you don’t have a bathtub, leave it in a bowl and put it by your front door, in your bedroom, even your office. Anywhere you need to breathe easier. It’s all about staying connected to something real when everything else feels complicated. https://scoopwholefoodsshop.com/
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