The Day You Stopped Being Mrs X (And Started Finding Yourself Again)

It is most cringe when your child's school teachers still address you as Mrs X. When their voice echoes across the whole room during PTMs in front of everybody, when the name pops up in a school email... and it gets awkward having to tell them over and over again.

It's not easy. Does anyone know that?

You're an expat educator. You built a life in a foreign country. You got into a good school, got a job you love, got married to a good man, became a mother. That's it, right? You thought you checked all the boxes in life.

Then suddenly, you weren't. You were a wife... and now you're not. Now you see it, now you don't. So... who are you now?

Nobody told you that when your marriage falls apart, so does your sense of self.

You feel embarrassingly like a teenager, needing to "discover your self-identity", all over again. You scour self-help books, do journaling exercises and make lists, rebuilding a person you thought you knew for decades.

But here's what they don't tell you in those books: when you're an expat educator going through divorce, the stakes feel even higher. You're not just losing a spouse. You're navigating a foreign legal system. You're worrying about visa status. You're wondering if you can stay in the country where your kids go to school. You're doing all this while still showing up to teach other people's children, keeping a smile on your face, marking papers, attending staff meetings.

You're trying to keep it together while everything falls apart.

And that name? Mrs X? It's just one small reminder of all the things that used to define you but don't anymore.

Will it help to know this?

You were never just a wife. You were always more. You just forgot.

You are an educator who shapes young minds. You are brave enough to build a life in a new country. You are strong enough to navigate systems and cultures that aren't your own. You are resilient enough to start over when life doesn't go as planned.

There's also nothing wrong with trying to find yourself again. I think it's more terrifying if someone didn't know to look for themselves.

It takes time, so be patient with yourself. The journey from Mrs X back to your own name is not just about paperwork or correcting teachers at PTMs. It's about remembering who you were before the marriage, and discovering who you're becoming after it.

You don't have to do this alone. If you'd like a partner in this journey of finding yourself again, I'm here. I can help you keep it together while you figure out who you are now.