Keeping It Together

You have been waking up at 5.30am for the past 20 years. The difference is, for the first 5 years, it was done with enthusiasm as you started your career as a fresh, young, passionate teacher in this new country you have just started to call home. For the next 14 years, you’re an experienced teacher, getting into the momentum of stepping out of the house everyday to fulfil your life purpose in education. However for the past 1 year since you found out about his affair and now in the process of divorce… when the alarm goes off, you’re dragging yourself up, wondering why you should be starting your day before the sun is up and before anyone else in your house is awake. For 5 seconds you wonder if you can call in sick, but decide against it because your loving responsibility towards your students kick in. “My students need me. Their exams are coming up.” By 7am you're at school. By 3pm you've managed the emotions of 75 different students and 3 parent complaints. By 5pm you'r...

It is 24 December. While other families gather for Christmas, you sit alone in your flat. Your 20-year marriage has ended. School starts again in two weeks. You are not ready. You walk into your classroom each day with a smile, you have your lesson plans, and you speak in your calm "teacher voice." But no one sees the 3am panic. No one knows how your heart sinks when you think about your visa. Will you lose your job? Will you lose your home? Will you lose the life you built here in Singapore? You're Not Nailing It - You're Crashing Research shows that maintaining a "brave front" in the classroom while navigating these challenges can lead to profound emotional exhaustion and burnout. You know this. You have an urgent, nagging anxiety within you that tells you something needs to be done. But you just don't know what and how. Being an expat educator in Singapore means your life is built on a foundation of "keeping it together." But when your marri...

You think that if you stop, everything will fall apart. Your job. Your visa. Your ability to stay in Singapore. The custody case. The one thing you're still good at. The only identity you have left that makes sense. So you drag yourself to school every morning. You paste on a smile when your students ask if you're okay. You say you're fine when colleagues gently check in. Your bosses have even offered you time off, but you said no. Because in your mind, taking a break means you're weak. It means you can't handle it. It means you're going to lose the one thing that's keeping you afloat right now. I know this. Because once upon a time, that was me too. The Day I Couldn't Pretend Anymore Back then, I didn't realise my bosses were being genuinely kind when they suggested I take time off. I thought they were hinting that I wasn't coping, that I was failing. I didn't realise my colleagues were trying to support me, not judge me. I didn't realis...

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